Adoption redux, film recommendation, and an update

Two posts ago I wrote about the adoption reform movement. If you're interested in that kind of thing, you should go read the insightful comments, especially those by by Amanda (of the Declassified Adoptee) and an anonymous commenter who has an intellectual background in Media Studies and a personal one as an adoptee.

If you don't already follow Rain, you should also check out the wonderful discussion of adoption she is hosting on her blog, enriched with (up to now: 1, 2, 3, 4) guest posts (and a response from the fourth). And besides that, you should go check out her great posts about food and everyday life.

Also in the adoption realm, I recently saw a film, My Flesh and Blood, on Net.flix (streaming) that both was and wasn't about adoption. It centers on Susan Tom, a single mother of 13, nine of whom were living at home at the time of the film, all of whom had been adopted and some of whom have serious congenital illnesses. Eight of those nine have special needs of one kind of another. They're all teens or tweens at the time of the film. If the family sounds familiar, it may be because they were on an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I haven't seen that, but I'd like too.

I can't think of anything to say about it that doesn't amount to a spoiler. So ... just go watch it!

Things here are going great! DJ is seven months old now. He's now sleeping through the night fairly consistently. We did end up letting him cry in the evenings, and it was exactly the missing piece. The first night (about a month ago), he cried on and off for about 40 minutes, sounding tired rather than anguished, and then slept straight through until 5. The next night 10 minutes, the third night 5 minutes, and then nothing. And he instantly started taking 60-120 minute naps (instead of 30 minute ones). A couple weeks ago it all fell apart (separation anxiety?) so we chose a good well-rested day to start it again, and, again, it worked instantly. His morning naps are still short, but his afternoon naps are often long. Ultimately, he just had to learn for himself how to get over that half-hour hump at both naptime and nighttime. And we feel good about how well we set him up for that challenge.

He usually starts squawking around 4 am, and I go get him and bring him back to bed with me to get him to sleep another hour or two. I love that soooo much. I love how he calms right down when we're tummy to tummy. I love to wake up with a little hand grabbing my face. And he's taken to stroking my hair, which is just as sweet as it sounds.

I'm especially happy about the morning co-sleeping because we're not nursing at all anymore, which I'm sad about. For a while we nursed first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening. But in the morning he'd get frustrated (because he was hungry) and in the evening he just looked bored. So we just kind of stopped.

J is back to teaching, and I'm on sabbatic for the academic year. DJ goes to a great daycare Monday through Wednesday for about 6 hours, J has him most of the day Thursday, and I have him most of the day Friday. I'm getting four good days of work in a week, and it feels fantastic. I'm already so refreshed and excited about my research and writing, and it's only mid-September! I'm so grateful that I get to go back to work on such flexible, self-directed terms.

I wondered, back when I was longing for this so much, whether I had maybe ascribed too much importance to this dream of being a parent. I wondered if maybe I was fundamentally unhappy and that having a baby wouldn't actually change it. I'm even happier than I anticipated. I can't believe I have this great life! How in the hell did I get so lucky?

To close, a little video of DJ wrestling a shark: